The Bride of Frankenstein

Short Story by Mike Resnick

Podcast by Escape Pod read by Julie Davis

Originally published in Asimov's

The Baroness von Frankenstein can't stand an uppity creature, and wonders why didn't she marry a doctor or a banker instead of a mad scientist. She's cold and bitchy, but when the delightfully sarcastic Monster takes an interest in romance novels, he catalyzes some much needed introspection.

Undead creatures are an underused resource for self-improvement and marriage counseling. It was a good central conceit, and the story was decently funny, and a bit moving, but I don't think it's worthy of a Hugo. It was too saccharine, a bit obvious and not quite funny or thoughtful enough for that. Resnick is no Mel Brooks.

The Escape Pod podcast definitely seems better than the text story here. Julie Davis does pretty good voices, I'm particularly a fan of her Igor, and she captures a proper scientist-type enthusiasm for Victor in the lab scene. The Baroness is delightfully cold and haughty. Alasdair had a good outro, as usual, but I may be biased by my love of Spaced. And my opinion of this story may be slightly higher due to the reader and my love of Young Frankenstein.

Only 3.5 out of 5 romances end in tragedy. We've gone soft.

Animus Rights

Short Story by John Shirley

Two powerful, ethereal beings toy with humanity. Maybe they should consider the rights of such lower creatures. Pretty short, nothing original to see here, lame title, lame ending. The writing is good enough, but the story goes nowhere and manages to be repetitive and pointless in just 10 pages. 1.5 out of 5.

A Lovely Little Christmas Fire

Short Story by Jeff Carlson

Audio version available for free at the excellent Starship Sofa, Narrated by Amy H. Sturgis

Julie Beauchain and her boyfriend Highsong are park rangers. They fight a bio-engineered termite infestation in Montana. There may be terrorism, conspiracy, or insurance fraud afoot. Exciting, the mystery is left a touch ambiguous, which is good. The resolution is a bit cliche but nothing really bad about this story and it's lots of fun. 3.5 out of 5 rangers are too sexy for Montana.


P.S. This is the sequel to Gunfight at the Sugarloaf Pet Food & Taxidermy, also by Jeff Carlson. I didn't know this until listening to the Starship Sofa version though, so it doesn't hurt not to have read it. Still it is available free from Starship Sofa in Episode #88, and it's pretty good.

A Large Bucket, and Accidental Godlike Mastery of Spacetime

Novelette by Benjamin Crowell

Sidibé Traoré ended up as Earth's diplomatic representative because she was an astronaut who loved to pop the blisters on a sheet of bubble wrap.

That is the first line, and between it and the title, you can extrapolate all you need to know. Sidi is unambitiously along for the ride when she is sent off to a near-light speed bus/cultural exchange/diplomatic meeting/uplift program. She unsuccessfully fumbles her way through relations with other species while referencing Dr. Seuss, Lewis Carroll, and L. Frank Baum. She chaotically moves from failure to success when she starts working on negotiations with a sentient puddle who is 837th of 837 in theoretical compatibility with humans.

Obviously this is humor, but it remains plausible to the end. Sidi is exceedingly competent, although this is applied only through a series of accidents. The writing had me grinning the whole time, although the comedy is all in description and circumstance rather than "jokes". The ending is a bit out there, and seems a little too simplistic, but room is left for all of that to be resolved somewhere after the final sentence. Overall this was much more plausible and less silly than typical for this sort of lighthearted alien diplomacy story, and I really enjoyed Sidi's rise to power, almost as much as the title. 4.5 out of 5 godlike masteries of spacetime are achieved by accident.

Poetry Roundup: Asimov's December 2009

The Anti-World by Andrew Gudgel

Six Anti-stanzas of words beginning with anti-, anti-strung together into anti-sentences making anti-sense. The last stanza tries to tie it all together with some actual meaning, but falls flat. I anti-love this anti-poem, because I find it anti-anti-annoying.

The World's Ending Again in 2012 by Darrell Schweitzer

Not the most poetic piece, but still a fun look at end-of-the-world prophecies. James Randi should factor into more poetry.

Shiner by G.O. Clark

An okay poetic pun.